when will it stop?Posted: 09/04/2013
my daughter, i think, is coping. she seldom complains. she’s had few teary or angry outbursts – both of which i think she is entitled to. she complains of the pain, but does not exaggerate it. she describes being sore, or very sore, or, when it is at its worst, really sore. in her head, i think she has the size of it. so, coping, then.
what she wants to know is, when will it stop?
this question slaps back all the kind, gentle, vague platitudes that a parent might have lined up: it will go away again, … try not to worry… let’s think about how we can put the pain in a small box on a high shelf…
the truth is, i don’t know when the pain will go away. i know we need to work on ways that can help her cope with the fact that it might not. i reassure her that the doctors could not find anything wrong, that the pain will hopefully go away one day.
her immediate response is, when?
there is no knowing ‘when’. there is only now and some point in the future when i hope her life will be different and pain-free.
i don’t know. perhaps the only person i am fooling is myself.