there’s nothing wrong…Posted: 13/04/2013
it’s been nearly three months since my daughter
became unwell started with this painful episode.
it was a snow day, school was cancelled, and she had been out playing with her friends. she gradually started feeling unwell – a tummy bug, i thought – but had no temperature and was not sick. after a day or so, the pain started, then worsened, and hasn’t gone away since.
i feel brow-beaten at times by the repeated assertion that there’s nothing wrong.
yes, it is important to be reassured. yes, the success of any follow-up psychotherapy relies on parental acceptance of the diagnosis. i know that.
at a consultation this week, the clinical psychologist took hold of my daughter’s hand and said, ‘There’s nothing wrong…’
i am sure she meant this in the kindest, most reassuring way.
but it is bewildering. what message does that give my daughter, who is in near continuous pain? how does she square ‘nothing wrong’ with what she feels?
and now i regret not saying, actually, there is something wrong – my daughter is in pain. the pain is disabling. it prevents her from living her life as she wants to.
it would have been more accurate if the clinical psychologist had said we don’t know what’s causing the pain.
i think it is more than an issue of semantics: nothing wrong speaks of certainty; we don’t know does not.