three months, four

so i make soup – pea and ham soup.

and i know that although so many aspects of my daughter’s diagnosis seem so tenuous and difficult to accept, the fact she continues to eat is a good thing.

that realisation is simple and heartening.



pizza power

my daughter went out two hours ago to a pizza party in town with her friends.

i’ve just received a text message from her

Having the best time ever!!!!!

and that’s just about the best text message ever too.

fish fingers going nowhere

i am writing this watching a small plate of food going cold on the kitchen table opposite me.

today’s small step forward was to see if my daughter could eat lunch at the table. she’s managing to eat breakfast at the table, although is sore afterwards.

no, she said, she doesn’t want to, ‘it hurts me, i think you’ll find.’

i’ve left her to think about it. told her to let me know when she would like me to help her up so she can come through and eat.

when does boundary setting become behaviour management become punishment?

it’s a trajectory i am deeply uncomfortable with.

at our meeting last week, the psychologist said –

1) complete recovery is unrealistic

2) increased activity will result in a return of function

it seems to me that these take us in opposite directions.

her lunch is cold.

and i feel like a bully.